A cloud of red crosses over my head. I am in an agony state.

I have been sitting in bed, thinking how amazing this feeling was, wondering if I could ever break even in this place and finally it is finally time to try to break through. I thought back to my last day in Cote d'Azur. I could see my parents and friends standing side by side with me. There were no children in view, just ordinary people trying to eat or drink. Not even people with their own faces on the ground and face to face. My thoughts were going to continue through sleep that night. But on the day the storm passed, I saw a whole whole village destroyed. There were a lot of dead people in this city... and dead people in Paris. I felt nauseous, dizzy and scared.

Le soleil éclate au milieu du ciel. Punched through the ground. In my mind I was trying to break through the raindrops on the ground. I thought about last night and how I should put my head down onto my knees with my back to the storm. All these years. And now I realize my face is a part of my being. And that, in my mind, is my beauty. And now I also realize my dream of finally being back in France, but to do here right now...

I started walking down the street from home. It seems like yesterday I went to see my GP that I know very well. He told me that I was too sick to walk, so I was going to have to see my GP. I had just lost my doctor, my sister. It was very sad. I did it without thinking. I didn't even know that I was going back. I was scared to leave. The GP told me that he wanted to talk to the family, too. That he loved me. That there was no way it would ever get me back. I went back. I went to my place. I got up, put on my shoes and climbed the stairs. I felt like I was in hell.